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Posts Tagged ‘Duke Nukem Forever’

Episode CV: The Elite Gamers Of The Benevolent Press

What’s better than have the Issues Program dudes show up to talk about the first half-year in gaming? How about having pro gamer, reviewer and model Raychul Moore joining the roundtable?

In a special episode the Bastards welcome Issues Guy, JC Sergeant and Raychul Moore to the program, as they dissect the current goings-on in the gaming world. Find out which games have already made it to their best-of 2011 list, and which upcoming titles they’re looking forward to most. Plus the gang chimes in on the true nature and style of Duke Nukem Forever, and figure out if L.A. Noire is a title that deserves to be on the pedestal that other gaming sites seem to put them on.

It’s all right here on this super-sized episode of the Boston Bastard Brigade. It’s Episode 105: The Elite Gamers Of The Benevolent Press!

Duke Nukem: Hail to the…WTF!

The Duke of the Nuke has returned with Duke Nukem Forever, tracking the good, the bad and the fugly with it. Were all those years of work worth the wait? Let’s break it down into the proper three categories.


Duke Nukem Forever was true to its word about being able to play as old-school Duke Nukem. They brought back some of the classic guns, such as the very sexy Colt 1911, freeze ray, pump-action shotgun with fore grip, the Ripper machine gun, rail gun, rocket launcher, shrink ray, Devastator and few other guns. The folks at Gearbox Software redesigned a lot of the characters and graphics, and while they could’ve been a tad better still managed to keep the spirit of the original game and taking heed of the current-gen appearances. They left off this game where Duke Nukem 3D ended, which makes me very happy because that was one thing they really could of messed up on. The strip club is awesome, but the only issue I see is you never get back into the strip club as (spoiler alert!) it’s a dreamscape sequence. The executions are pretty sick, where if you’re able to shoot up the aliens to the point where they drop down to their knees you can give them a big uppercut, curb stomp, or — if it’s a pig — you can basically tear his head off.

One of the best levels in the game is where you blow up the Hoover Dam. You travel through the landmark, taking on the monsters trying to shut off the power. You can’t shut it down, so you get some serious explosives and have the underwater mission begin. Once you get through the explosions it has a great part where you get tossed out the exhaust port of the Hoover Dam while you watch the whole thing explode.


I can see now why a lot of people are upset about Duke Nukem Forever. I’m still pissed that it took as many years for them to go through this process to make the freaking game! Someone had told me that there was supposed to be 25 hours of gameplay, but that was a lie seeing that the load times are wicked long!!! Next to that you are only able to carry two guns in the whole game. Come on, it’s Duke Fucking Nukem! If he can bench press 600 pounds he can carry at least three guns. It’s a pain in the ass sometimes running around killing the main aliens, and once you’ve spent all your bullets laying to waste aliens, you got to rock fists with steroids to kill the aliens faster.

Some of the levels have messed up on me, in which I had to reload the last checkpoints where it seemed to take FOREVER! The crane level where you take on the giant Octa-King was a pain, as you had to do a massive amount of button-mashing on parts where you knock down the bosses, run up to them, press the button to hop on top of them, then finally button-mash what ever button is on the screen. If you do it wrong the big asshole alien gets back up and knocks you down, having to restart the whole process again.

The worst level in Duke Nukem Forever was probably the starting point, where you’re trying to get through the mansion after beating the mini-game in the start. When I had a friend over they got bored saying they want to kick ass and take names against the aliens. It seemed very dry considering how much time they had to make this game, and I think having the title switch hands back-and-forth between companies made the game what it is in some of its areas.

The online play is kind of spotty, as some of the people you end up playing with have crap for Internet connections. I ended up getting lucky with maybe a couple rounds of play, and then all of a sudden I got kicked off. It doesn’t have a setup so you can play with the same level of people if you suck, so prepare to get your ass whipped if you don’t know the levels or where the guns are. (I’m not saying I had a problem, as I kick ass and take names like always.) Then you have the set up where you battle online so you earn stuff for your place. That’s where the babes come in, along with all the nice stuff. (Not sure I can comment more on what happens because I haven’t gotten that far as of yet.)


YOU’RE NOT ABLE TO SAVE THE BABES!!! Yes, you get to see the naked girls, but the issue is you can’t save them after seeing them caught by the pregnator aliens. To add insult to injury you have kill the babes before they explode with the aliens.


The Balls of Steel edition gives you two poker chips (meh), dice (good), and a small deck of cards, which is disappointing as there should’ve been naked ladies from the game, damn it! It also comes with a statue bust of Duke, which could’ve been a hell of lot bigger. The post cards are all right, as was the Duke Nukem sticker, though I wish it was a magnet. The cool parts of the package were the comic book and the 100-page hardcover book The History, Legacy & Legend: Duke Nukem Forever Art from the Vault.


I waited on for Duke Nukem Forever to come out for a long time, from back when I started playing the 1996 Duke Nukem 3D game. I even got the special pack where I was able to play the original Duke Nukem games. It was awesome to see them play some of the old game footage in the extras you opened once you beat the game. One of the big issues I had was that it seemed that they showed the old E3 videos which had a lot of the gameplay from back when Duke Nukem Forever was in the early stages. They seemed to have taken out a lot of the video game that 3D Realms had originally thought of putting into the game.

As a whole Duke Nukem Forever is — at its best — an 8.0 out of 10. This game is not for everyone. If you’ve got a lot of time to kill, it’s going to take a lot of time to finish the game with how they designed it. For the most part it’s around 6 to 10 hours of gameplay, depending on how many times you mess up and have to wait on the load time. I suggest either playing a friend’s copy or rent the game before you buy it.


I feel that they should’ve taken this version of Duke Nukem Forever and put it on the back burner. I know it would’ve been an even longer wait, but I feel what they should have done is instead of just dropping the original Duke Nukem 3D game for you to play on Xbox Live Arcade they should’ve actually refurbished that title (which then would’ve looked like this Duke Nukem Forever game). This would’ve helped them figure out what they were doing wrong, and then they could’ve made Duke Nukem Forever what it was suppose to be. I have been hearing constantly about mess-ups between loading screens, along with actual in-game issues where people get stuck and have to restart from the last checkpoint. I hope that Duke Nukem Forever is a learning experience for everyone at Gearbox Software, and that they come back with an even better Duke Nukem game after this.

Game: Duke Nukem Forever
System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Rating: 8.0 (out of 10)
Official Website

Episode XCIX: In Thomas We Trust!

Bruins, Bruins, Bruins!!!

The Stanley Cup is ours, and Vancouver doesn’t take it so well. Hear King Baby Duck and Anvil’s take on the celebratory parade, as well as the rest of the weekly sports report from him and Mr. Cuse. King Baby Duck shares why Kung Fu Panda 2 is a worthy sequel, and Mr. Cuse give his take on Super 8. Anvil also looks at the films Sniper: Reloaded and No Strings Attached. King Baby Duck and Anvil review the demos for Eat Them! and MotorStorm: Apocalypse, and Blueonic hails to the original king with his first-thoughts on Duke Nukem Forever!

Sing along with the King & Anvil in the beginning! It’s Episode 99: In Thomas We Trust!

"Duke Nukem Forever" Delayed To June 14

Those wanting to get their hands on Duke Nukem Forever on May 3rd will have to wait another month.

In a video with Gearbox Software President Randy Pitchford it was announced (humorously) that Duke Nukem Forever has been moved to a June 14 US release date, with a worldwide release on June 10. Why it’s coming out last in America is anyone’s guess.

Here’s hoping the delay will mean they’ll fix the driving aspect of the game.

UPDATE: 2K Games and Gearbox Software have issued a press release regarding the manner:

Duke Never Comes Early – 2K Games Announces Shortest Delay in the History of Duke Nukem Forever®

After 15 years (and six short weeks) the King is almost back!

New York, NY – March 24, 2011 – 2K Games and Gearbox Software announced today that Duke Nukem’s glorious comeback in Duke Nukem Forever® will now explode at retail on June 10, 2011 internationally and June 14, 2011 in North America on the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PlayStation®3 computer entertainment system and Windows PC. With gamers jumping out of their seats and waiting in line for hours to play the game at PAX East, it appears that the fans have spoken – Duke Nukem Forever is worth the wait.

“In case you haven’t heard, Duke never comes early,” said Christoph Hartmann, president of 2K. “We’re committed to deliver a laugh-out-loud, politically incorrect experience that people will talk about for years to come. We thank Duke’s fans for their continued patience – I promise this won’t take another 15 years.”

The incredibly unapologetic Duke Nukem Forever is the video game realization of the ultimate Hollywood summer blockbuster on steroids. Starring the iconic and legendary titular character, Duke Nukem Forever promises to reinvent the key ingredients necessary to create a summer smash hit that’s boiling over-the-top with irreverent humor, catchy one-liners that will make your mama blush, and frantic, bone-shaking action sequences that will simultaneously rock your world and neighbors’ walls.

“I’m very sorry for the added delay. We’ve all been working extremely hard and are very eager to deliver the game to you,” added Pitchford. “I’ve been thinking of these lyrics from the great country song, ‘He’s The Duke’ – ‘He told us if we waited we could Come Get Some, but I never knew Forever was going to be so long.’  If you’re like me, June cannot come quickly enough.”

In the interim, Duke Nukem Forever fans can pay their respects to the King by visiting the official Duke Nukem Forever website – It’s loud, lewd and definitely Duke approved. The site provides fans with stimulating content that will ease their eagerness, including Duke’s Boobtube channel and The Duke Cave, featuring babe and alien surveillance. Fans can also “come get some” by pre-ordering the game, along with the Balls of Steel edition, while supplies last.

Duke Nukem Forever will be available internationally on June 10, 2011 and in North America on June 14, 2011. For more information on Duke Nukem Forever, including where to pre-order a copy, please visitwww.dukenukemforever.comDuke Nukem Forever is rated M for Mature by the ESRB.

2K Games is a division of 2K, a publishing label of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. (NASDAQ: TTWO).

"Duke Nukem Forever": Return of the King!

I’ve been a follower of the Duke Nukem franchise since its 2D, orange-skined days, and the news of Duke Nukem Forever finally reaching our gaming consoles sounds too good to be true. Lo and behold, Duke is here and in the CGI flesh. Has it been worth the thirteen-year wait? In two words: FUCK YES!!!

At PAX East today I managed to get hands-on with Duke Nukem Forever at the 2K Games booth, and managed to play two levels within my twenty-minute limit. The first level, an intro of sorts, is kind of an intended joke. You start by pissing in a toilet, followed by drawing genitals on a nearby whiteboard. Once the game finishes (intentionally) bullshitting the player you’re thrown right into the madness, thanks in part to a nasty missile-launching cycloid with a low tolerance for pain. It took me a few minutes to figure out where the hell the extra ammo in the level was, however, and wound up dying a couple times because of my sheer stupidity. After a few tussles I took down the beast, and kicked his eyeball for a perfect field goal. Insert a little joke about how long it took to make the game, and the demo continued.

The other level I had the chance to try out had me start out driving Duke’s monster truck, and unfortunately I had some difficulty trying to steer the vehicle. Maybe it was because Duke Nukem Forever is still in its development stages, but I kept on flipping my truck over every time I tried to steer the vehicle to the left or right. On the plus side running over pig beasts was tons of gory fun, until my vehicle ran out of gas. I then had to jump out my vehicle, blast some more pigs and blow up a spaceship with a good ole RPG. Unfortunately it was at this point where my time limit had ended, and it was time to let someone else play.

Fortunately I managed to have a quick chat with Gearbox Software’s Marketing Coordinator Adam Fletcher, who he himself couldn’t believe Duke Nukem Forever was finally being released.

“It’s going to be one of the most awesome games ever,” said an enthusiastic Fletcher. “It’s the king of Vaporware…’Wired’ came out with their little list, and [Duke Nukem Forever] was number ten for old time’s sake.”

In response to Gearbox picking up the game Fletcher made it clear that, for the most part, it was still 3D Realms’ baby.

“This is the game that [3D Realms] wanted to bring out. It’s got the flavor and everything that make Duke that they wanted to bring, and the guys at Tryptich who kept it alive by working out of their garages and then us helping them bring it out. It is that 3D Realms vision, and we’re really excited to bring that out.”

So what can gamers expect from Duke Nukem Forever this year?

“They will expect a fucking ride!” exclaimed Fletcher. “It’s going to be freakin’ awesome! It’s Duke Nukem, and it’s got the badass one-liners and action…It’s a popcorn shooter!”

So far the game is looking great, and with its May 3rd release date it is safe to say that Duke Nukem Forever is going to be one of this year’s best titles. After all, you can always bet on Duke!

Check out the full audio interview with Gearbox Software’s Adam Fletcher here!

Episode LXXXVII: If It Walks Like An Asshole, And It Talks Like An Asshole, Then It Must Be Phil Collins!

The Bastards bring you another fun-filled episode that is sure to turn your frown upside-down.

This week King Baby Duck looks at the demos for Rage of the Gladiator, Dragon Age 2 and Marvel Pinball, and he & Blueonic give opposite viewpoints on the sports demos Major League Baseball 2K11 and Top Spin 4. Plus Blueonic shares his excitement about Mortal Kombat and the ultimate edition of Duke Nukem Forever, and his dismay over the fact that he has to miss out on the fun at PAX East this year. Next Anvil & Mr. Cuse share the sports duties, covering the biggest news from this past week.

Anvil reviews I Am Number Four, Blueonic gives his thoughts on Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden and the B3 crew compare their Oscar picks with their winners. Mr. Cuse shares his opinion on the funk album Inner City Sounds, and the gang end it all with a couple of Oh For Fuck’s Sakes!, one dealing with the MBTA (again!) and the other with filthy protesters.

So what are you waiting for? Click on the link here for Episode 87: If It Walks Like An Asshole, And It Talks Like An Asshole, Then It Must Be Phil Collins!

Episode LXXXI: Hail To The King, Baby!

After recovering from the bad case of the common cold Blueonic returns for a brand-new episode.

This week the Bastards tackle what happened in the world of sports, and Blueonic chats about the new Sparticus series. King Baby Duck gives a second opinion on Black Swan, Blueonic reviews the movie Knucklehead, King Baby Duck praises the Banksy film Exit Through The Gift Shop, and then both look at the film Operation: Endgame.

The B3 crew share their excitement about the upcoming Duke Nukem Forever game, give their opinions on the demos for Zeit², Spare Parts and Modern Combat: Domination, and Blueonic reviews the games Battlefield: Bad Company 2: Vietnam and Naval Assault: The Killing Tide. Angry Birds also gets a mention…

Episode LXII: You Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican!

The Bastards kill the bad guys dead!

This week the B3 Crew (and special guest Pandalicious) attempt their first live webstream of the Podcast show using some sweet Blue Microphones. On the table this week are new music from Disturbed & Limp Bizkit, the week in sports, demo reviews of Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 and VANQUISH, PAX Prime news and a look at the films Machete and The American. And a little fan interaction, too.