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Posts Tagged ‘Demo’

Episode CLXI: Oh No, He’s Going To Tell Another Story!

O Bastard, My Bastard, our fearful show is here!

In this week’s episode Blueonic gripes about the bad side of celebrating Thanksgiving, while King Baby Duck thinks of ways of making the feast even better with the help of a deep-fryer. Spielberg’s latest film Lincoln is reviewed, as the duo thinks back at how much the political party system has changed since the passing of the 13th Amendment. The demo of Need For Speed: Most Wanted  is looked at, with both guys perplexed by how much of a step back the game looks compared to Hot Pursuit. Blueonic praises the new DLC content of Sniper Elite V2, and the Bastards say farewell to Twinkies.

Whether you voted “Aye” or “Nay,” here comes Episode 161: Oh No, He’s Going To Tell Another Story!

Episode CLX: Think Of Your Sins, Mr. Bond!

The Bastards love it shaken, not stirred.

This week the B3 are excited about the news that happened on the day of Tuesday, November 6, leaving both King and Blueonic jumping for joy about the future of one of their favorite things. The demos for Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two and F1 Race Stars are looked at, and King describes why the new Karateka remake is nothing but bad news. Finally James Bond comes full circle in the review for Skyfall.

Make yourselves a martini, and relax with Episode 160: Think Of Your Sins, Mr. Bond!

Episode CLIX: You’re Business…This Is Pleasure!

It was a double-feature weekend for the Bastards…

This week the B3 crew review the new RZA-helmed The Man With The Iron Fists, which pays homage to classic kung-fu films of yesteryear. The video game-influenced Wreck-It Ralph is also on the table, a movie that just may be the best of its kind. Blueonic goes hands-on with the Wii U (yes, WII U) demo for Rayman Legends, and gives his thoughts on the new controller setup. Finally the demos for pid, F1 2012, and Home Run Stars are looked at.

It’s not the baddest man alive, it’s Episode 159: You’re Business…This Is Pleasure!

Hands-On with the GameStop Wii U Kiosk

Admittedly, it had been a while since I’d laid my hands on Nintendo’s upcoming console.  The last I’d seen of the system was back at E3 and, while I’ve been following coverage like a hawk, how the gamepad felt in my hands was growing a bit dim in my mind.  To my surprise the other […]

ESH Podcast Episode # 309: In Case Of Flaming Panda–Click Here.

You’ve been warned. Just in case you have encountered a flaming panda–click here Now that that is over and done with, the sistahs have now entered what they call “Broke Bitch October” That is right, pre holiday is slowly setting in and everyones wallets are in danger of being void of $$$. Ninja talks about […]

Episode CXLIX: Three Hands?! I’ll Just Use My Mouth!

After getting some fresh New Hampshire air, the Bastards return for another zany episode filled with double-entendres (no thanks to Teg!).

This week the B3 crew figure out if Total Recall should’ve been remade in the first place, as the first one was fine in their opinions. King Baby Duck goes hands-on with the demos for Transformers: Fall of Cybertron and The Expendables 2, dives deep into the darkness of Deadlight, and Blueonic tries his hardest to share his take on Wreckateer. Teg gives a shout-out to the game Endless Space, and KBD tells listeners why Spec Ops: The Line will make you want to skip out on any other war game from here on out (but in a good way).

This is not Rekall, it’s Episode 149: Three Hands?! I’ll Just Use My Mouth!

Demo Roundup: July 1-7, 2012

For Xbox Live Arcade trials last week there were Bellator: MMA Onslaught and Spelunky. Could be worse, but I’ve been wrong before…

Bellator‘s short teaser trailer shows how much it sucks, and I have to say that I tried my best to give this game a real chance. I really did people. I kept going with being on the verge of rage quitting (which I did, as my head hangs low). Although this is the demo, the actual gameplay may be different. That said the A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) is really bad.

I’m always up for a challenge, but if you have had your ass handed to you every time — even switching the fighters they provided to you and lose to both guys — that tells you they made it impossible for the actual player to beat the other guy. The one thing I can maybe give to them is they designed a “rope a dope” setup in the game, yet they really did turn this into MMA Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter game that deals with a health bar. Yes I said it, they have a freakin’ health bar for the fighters. To add on to that they have a fatigue bar, where the amount of hits you put on the opposition will tire out your character. Not only that, when your fighter gets tired he turns red. When he is red, one punch, one kick, basically if the opponent sneezes on your fighter, it’s an automatic knockout.

The controls are somewhat simple, yet they are complicated when it comes to the aspect of grappling. In some parts of the movement of the fighter I was able to get out of grapples and ground & pound situations no problem. With the other fighter shooting in for a takedown I found it very hard to counter, and it would end up going from the ground back to a stand up match.

The two fighters they give you for the trial are Michael Chandler and Pat Curran. When they introduce the fighters, it seems that they didn’t even want to bother with the announcer to say the full entrance for the person. The voice of the announcer goes from “Fighting out of the red corner… Michael Chandler,” with a rare change in tone of voice. The music overlay is nothing too impressive, as they did a fair job on that. The graphics as you can see from the photos are also pretty nice.

After cooling down from the rage quitting, I went to the game again and changed the difficulty to easy. This is hard for me to say because I like playing the hell out of my games on Normal and Advanced settings, but this game is so damn fast. The other fighter you’re going against don’t have to remember the damn setups just to throw a punch, kick, block, grapple, etc. It’s just one of those things where this game if you don’t want to tear your freakin’ hair out, you’ll have to play on easy for a long amount of time. Otherwise prepare to have your ass handed to you on a silver platter.

Another thing that pisses me off is at the end of the match they give you a grading system. I’m sorry, but I got out of high school and college to stop being graded on everything I do. Hell, the match I finally won on this game due to turning the option to easy gave me a B+. It’s like what the hell! I gave most strikes, most damage delt in a one round that had three minutes in it, and I get a freakin’ B+. That is unacceptable in my terms of MMA! This brings me to a point: if you have OCD, and you like MMA games this one is probably not for you. However if you like getting your ass handed to you on a daily basis this game is right up your alley.


The trial for Bellator: MMA Onslaught is just a rude awakening for you to ask, “Am I up to the challenge of taking on a superior A.I. at a normal level that can drop you worse than taking a firey number two in the bathroom?” I look at this sucker and see that above the trial button it says it’s going for 1200 Arcade Points. I’m sorry, but that’s a bit too high. Hell even if it was 800 Xbox Live Points I still would find it to be too high. I want to say the 400-600 range would be more than adequate for this game. However I put you up to the challenge to make this decision on your own. Download the trial, and see what you feel about it. With the rating on this game it will have to be a low one. I hereby rate Bellator: MMA Onslaught a 1.2 out of 5 (or in the game’s rating style a D- or F at best).

GAME: Bellator: MMA Onslaught
DEVELOPER: Spike Games

Between downloading this and Bellator: MMA Onslaught, I will give Spelunky Download of the Week. The definition of spelunking is “the hobby/practice of exploring caves,” what Spelunky is all about. Apparently I didn’t hear about this game from back when it came out in 2008 and won some awards on the PC. Now they are working on widening their field of players for their game with an update on the graphics and adding a multiplayer aspect to the game. The thing about me is I haven’t been into many games dealing with 2D side-scrolling since I stopped playing Sega Genesis, but my fellow writer and member of B3 introduced me to Terraria, which also reminded me a bit of Spelunky.

The game starts off with you picking your character. (Of course I picked the hunter wearing the blue hat.) You get to this treasure chest, and change into this other character Yang that tells you how to play the game. I do have to say Spelunky has a long setup to teach you how to move about the game, from jumping, run jumping, using your whip, how to cling on to the edges of walls, etc. The main thing with me is with a game like this I kind of want to get to the point. I do like the concept that I have to go and do the certain activity to learn how to use weapons and do movements, but they could of incorporated this into the game with the character you’ve selected (like in ‘Splosion Man where you kind of learn as you go along). Suggestion: don’t kick the ass of the store owner in the final tutorial, as you’ll get your ass whooped.

So after playing the three tutorials you can see the name of the game is grabbing the people and the golden skulls, and getting them to the end without taking too much damage from whatever enemies and traps that may be around. This game keeps you on your toes. When you have rocks around the area, make sure to pick them up and toss them in certain areas that may be booby-trapped. It may save your character’s life and your aggravation. With the completion of the tutorial you finally get to start the mines section and start to see what the game is really about. It’s interesting, as I wanted to see what happened when you die. So I got killed doing something stupid, then ended up going back into the map and it changed everything. This is pretty interesting because they actually regenerate new maps every time. Now that’s a true challenge!

On a side note the music sounds something from 8-bit to 32-bit games. Not only that Spelunky made me paranoid for a second. I put I on pause, and there is a faint voice in the background that says, “Help!” which is the girl in distress. That scared the hell out of me! I thought there was a little kid or a cat outside my air conditioner, but this is what happens when you have a great surround system. It puts you into the game.


As a trial Spelunky gives you a fair amount of gameplay, but also asks you along the way if you want to purchase the sucker. I feel this game may be worth further going into, and this is also coming from a person who doesn’t usually find these games too attractive. This one is also priced at 1200 Xbox Live Points, which I believe may be a bit too high. (I could say 800 to 1000 points may be more adequate.) I do give it to them on the concept of changing the maps each time, as it keeps you way more alert. You really have to pay attention to your surroundings. I have to suggest when you die keep pressing the X button. It will bring you back into the map instead of dropping you all the way to the entrance of the cave. (I found myself doing that a lot.) To give this sucker a grade, I’ll give it a respectful 3.8 out 5. It’s a game that certain people will like because of its maze aspect. It also makes you feel like Indiana Jones, especially when saving the girl and getting the golden skull. Beware: that big boulder will be around to get you when you grab the skull, so all I can say is RUN BITCH RUN!!!

GAME: Spelunky

Episode CXLV: An Axe Goes Hand In Hand

The Bastards’ two favorite steampunk kids drop by in an all-new episode!

This week guest stars Locke Valor and Adie of the Vagabonds catch up with the B3 crew about their recent adventures around the steampunk convention circuit. The semi-historical Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is reviewed, along with the demos for Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes and Jeremy McGrath’s Offroad. Finally a discussion arises about whether or not America is currently making Japan look bad in the animation realm.

Four score and seven years ago, it was Episode 145: An Axe Goes Hand In Hand.

Episode CXLII: Now Serving Dumbass Pie!

If you just take a look at this Neuralyzer here, you’ll find the answers to the questions best left unknown.

After countless weeks of untimely deaths the B3 crew try to figure out who’s gonna kick the bucket next. The trio then look at Men In Black 3 (may contain spoilers!!!), followed by Anvil’s weekly sports report. Finally Blueonic shares his thoughts on Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, and the demos for Ridge Racer: Unbounded and Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor are put to the test.

It’s all fun and games until Boris The Animal stabs you! It’s Episode 142: Now Serving Dumbass Pie!

Episode CXXXVIII: Quoth The Raven, "Piss Off!!!"

Recorded once upon a midnight dreary, while Bastards pondered weak and weary…

This week the B3 crew takes a look at the demos for Dragon’s Dogma, Ninja Gaiden 3, Bloodforge, Deep Black – Episode 1, and The Walking Dead – Episode 1. John Cusack’s performance in The Raven is critiqued, the week in sports is examined, and the Bastards listen with delight to Jack White’s new album.

What they utter is their only stock and store. It’s Episode 138: Quoth The Raven, “Piss Off!!!”