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Episode CXLIV: A Beer Bottle To The Back Of The Head Solves All The Problems!

This episode features a lot of military jazz hands!

This week the King tries to get a little political for a woman who was kicked off the Michigan’s House floor for uttering a “v-word,” the B3 crew look at the new Adam Sandler movie That’s My Boy, and Anvil gives his weekly sports report. Blueonic and Anvil share their thoughts on Lollipop Chainsaw, KBD tells about his trials and errors with the game Babel Rising, and Blueonic goes into detail about the new EA Sports NCAA Football 13. Finally the Hives’ new album Lex Hives is looked at.

Fill yourself up with cake and lollipops! It’s Episode 144: A Beer Bottle To The Back Of The Head Solves All The Problems!

Episode CXLIII: The E3 Texas Hold ‘Em

The King returns from LA…

This week the B3 crew gather around for another edition of “Guess Who Died This Week?” and Chapter 63 of the MBTA “Oh, For Fuck’s Sake!” KBD shares his thoughts and favorites about this year’s E3, Anvil gives his weekly sports report, and another discussion about the movie Goon is raised.

It’s all plugged in here in Episode 143: The E3 Texas Hold ‘Em!

Episode CXLII: Now Serving Dumbass Pie!

If you just take a look at this Neuralyzer here, you’ll find the answers to the questions best left unknown.

After countless weeks of untimely deaths the B3 crew try to figure out who’s gonna kick the bucket next. The trio then look at Men In Black 3 (may contain spoilers!!!), followed by Anvil’s weekly sports report. Finally Blueonic shares his thoughts on Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, and the demos for Ridge Racer: Unbounded and Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor are put to the test.

It’s all fun and games until Boris The Animal stabs you! It’s Episode 142: Now Serving Dumbass Pie!

Episode CXLI: Operation: Chicken Burrito

Can you sink the Bastards’ battleship? Statistics say…no.

This week the B3 crew mourn the impending death of Boston’s last alternative rock radio station, and how it will be a grim day for music lovers everywhere. King Baby Duck and Blueonic review the new film Battleship, the games Max Payne 3 and Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode II are examined, and Anvil gives his weekly sports report.

Fished right out of the water, it’s Episode 141: Operation: Chicken Burrito!

Episode CXL: Damn, That Alice Cooper’s An Ugly Woman!

It is with most regret that the Bastards have to indulge themselves with some, as they say, fresh blood.

This week the B3 crew gripe about how their childhood heroes are all dropping like flies, then jump into their thoughts on the Merrimack Repertory Theatre’s production of Ghost-Writer. The week in sports is discussed, the demos for Spec Ops: The Line, Kinect Star Wars, and Minecraft are played, and Tim Burton’s remake of Dark Shadows is reviewed.

A spot of tea goes well with this week’s show. It’s Episode 140: Damn, That Alice Cooper’s An Ugly Woman!


Avengers time. C’mon, grab your friends. We’ll go to very distant lands!

This week the gang tear a new asshole in parents who bring their children to a film that is neither appropriate or would hold their short attention spans, before going into the movie of the moment: The Avengers. Anvil gives his weekly sports report, tributes to the late Patriots player Junior Seau and Beastie Boy Adam “MCA” Yauch are held, and the demo for Dirt Showdown is examined.

The action-packed madness can be found here in Episode 139: Ave–PUT THOSE NIPPLES AWAY, HULK!!!

Cage Titans: Conquer Results

Last night the three of us made the trek to the Plymouth Memorial Hall to catch Cage Titans’ latest fight card. With ten amateur fights and five pro matches the night was filled with many great hits, submissions, and even a little controversy…

Preliminary Bouts:

Marc Giordano (Dojo1) Vs. Brian Sparrow (Pro-Elite)

The fight stayed on the ground for the most part, but Sparrow submitted Giordano via arm bar 1:42 into the first round. This would later be awarded the Submission of the Night.


Moises Rodriguez (Tri-Force) Vs. George Nassar (MAXX Training)

Round One: Nassar tried to get an arm bar in, but Rodriguez lifted him up, only to find himself on the ground again. Nassar was soon taking punches from Rodriguez, as the rest of the match dragged to the end of the first round.

Round Two: Both fighters came out swinging, with Rodriguez getting a nice tap to Nassar’s chin. Nassar soon had Rodriguez up at the cage, but was then taken to the ground. Rodriguez tried to get a few more swings in, but Nassar was able to hold him back to the end of the round.

Round Three: Nassar pinned Rodriguez up onto the cage, but once again found himself on the ground. Rodriguez tried his hand on a couple side punches, with Nassar clenching Rodriguez’s head. Rodriguez momentarily got out of Nassar’s grasp, and threw a couple punches before going back to the ground grappling. The rounded ended, leaving the decision up to the judges.

WINNER VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION: Moises Rodriguez (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)

David Mejia (Carlson Gracie) Vs. Jordan Smith (Clinch MMA)

Round One: Smith pinned Mejia to the cage, only to find himself on the ground in a few seconds. Both fighters rose to their feet, throwing punches and kicks at one another.  Smith clenched onto Mejia on the ground, but wound up taking a couple punches. Smith returned the gesture with a couple kicks, but was pinned to the ground once more before the end of the first round.

Round Two: Both fighters hopped around the cage, throwing as many punches and kicks as they could. Mejia soon was locked onto Smith’s back trying for a rear-naked choke before settling for a couple punches. Soon Mejia was on top of Smith, as Smith held him down as much as he could to prevent being hit before the end of the round.

Round Three: Mejia came charging towards Smith, knocking him to the ground. Mejia once again tried for a rear-naked choke, but found himself unable to lock it in. Both fighters jumped to their feet, with Mejia connecting a few punches before moving to the other side of the cage. Mejia and Smith continued the battle on the ground, with Mejia dominating with many different hits to the head. It wasn’t enough, however, and the fight’s decision rested on the judges.


Stephen Langlais (Team BKJA) Vs. John Healey (The Shop)

Round One: Both fighters began with a few punches and kicks, before Langlais grabbed Healey and brought him to the side of the cage. Healey was then able to reverse the position, slamming Langlais to the ground. Both fighters seemed to keep one another from landing any critical, though Healey did get a couple knees to Langlais’s side. The roles were once again reversed, with Langlais on top swinging at Healey until the end of the first round.

Round Two: Langlais and Healey traded bars on the cage, before Healey found an opening and swung at Langlais to escape from the side. Healey then pinned Langlais to the cage door, dropping him to the ground and then connecting with multiple punches. Healey had control of the majority of this round.

Round Three: Both fighters traded kicks before being pushed to the side of the cage. Back at the center Langlais taunted Healey as he couldn’t connect with a single punch, with Healey returning the gesture by slamming him to the ground. Healey grabbed Langlais in a headlock, kneeing him in the stomach before each fighter rose nose-to-nose of one another. Healey got Langlais on the ground once more before the round’s end, leaving the decision once more in the hands of the judges.

WINNER VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION: John Healey (27-30, 28-29, 27-30)

Connor Matthews (Lakeville MMA) Vs. Anthony Hargrove (MAXX Training)

Matthews knocked Hargrove down to the ground, quickly turning the match into a feast of grappling. Matthews soon attempted an arm bar, but Hargrove managed to get out of it. Hargrove soon found himself in a rear-naked choke via Matthews, forcing to tap out 1:37 in the first round. Matthews was a rabid animal in this bout, with Hargrove unable to get his hands around him.


Vovka Clay (Triumph MMA) Vs. Shannon Soares (Gillett’s MMA)

Round One: Soares charged towards Clay, knocking him to the ground in a piledriver-looking maneuver. Both fighters traded grappling positions, before rising to their feet and slamming each other back to the ground. Soares stayed on top for the majority of the first round.

Round Two: Vovka kept Soares in a headlock, finding themselves battling for control both on foot and on the mat. Vovka soon put a rear-naked choke on Soares, forcing him to tap out 1:52 of the second round. Vovka was ready for more right after the win.


George Bounoutas (Carlson Gracie) Vs. Mark Cardarelli (USMMA)

Round One: Both fighters started by charging at one another, with Cardarelli cautiously watching Bounoutas’s moves. Bounountas was able to get a takedown on Cardarelli, but not without being busted open in the head via a quick swipe from his opponent. Both fighters managed to get a few punches in on one another on the ground, with Bounoutas staying on top for the most part of the first round.

Round Two: Cardarelli was able to get a few punches in the first couple seconds, before Bounoutas got him to the ground and attempted to steal a few swipes. Bounoutas’s wound opened once again, though it did little to slow him down. The round ended with little change to the position of the battle.

Round Three: The fighters were brought to the ground, with Bounoutas able to get the upper hand in the power struggle with his opponent. Bounoutas’s wound opened again, but he still wouldn’t slow down and give up his domination of the fight. The match went into the judges’ hands.

WINNER VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION: George Bounoutas (30-27 all)

Dan Lopez (Sport Specific Fitness) Vs. Peter Barrett (MAXX Training)

Round One: Barrett came at Lopez in the beginning swinging and kicking, with Lopez able to move away half the time. The match soon went cage-side, with Barrett pushing Lopez onto the steel ridges and almost breaking the door down during the process. Both fighters caught their composure, with Lopez connecting a couple punches before round’s end.

Round Two: The fighters traded punches, neither one of them seeming to lose any sort of steam. Suddenly Lopez started knocking Barrett down, with the referee calling the match before quickly changing his mind. Barrett soon took over, almost earning a TKO, but Lopez was able to stay in the fight through the round’s end. The crowd was not pleased that the match was to go on.

Round Three: Barrett took charge, with the intensity of the crowd behind him. Barrett knocked Lopez to the ground, getting in as many punches as he could before the referee stopped the match 0:45 into the third round. The crowd had mixed feelings about the result, with a blend of cheers and boos mending in the air. A rematch seems imminent, as the crowd gave Lopez a standing ovation. No animosity was to be found between the fighters, as they hugged before they left the cage. Fight of the Night would be awarded to this battle.

WINNER VIA TKO: Peter Barrett

Jeff Watts (Team Pradal Serey) Vs. Rico Disciullo (Sityodtong)

Round One: Watts got into a wrestling stance as Disciullo tried to get a punch or kick in. Watts grabbed hold of Disciullo’s leg, getting an ankle lock in. Disciullo was able to escape, but was then temporarily locked in an arm bar. Both fighters stood toe-to-toe as the round came to a close.

Round Two: Disciullo knocked Watts to the ground, throwing numerous punches, but was unable to get the big hit in. The referee forced Watts up, with Disciullo getting a knockout punch 1:12 into the second round. Watts had trouble getting up after the match was called. This would be voted as Knockout of the Night.


Main Card:

James Smith (MAXX Training) Vs. Nick Fontecchio (Connors MMA) – Heavyweight Amateur Title Bout

Round One: Fontecchio pushed Smith to the cage, but Smith was able to get a headlock in on the ground. Both fighters stood up before Fontecchio was able to slam Smith to the ground and throw a few punches. Smith then attempted to lock a submission in, but was unable to connect. Fontecchio also attempted an armbar, but was unsuccessful as the round reached its end.

Round Two: Fontecchio took Smith down, as both fighters struggled to get a hit in. Fontecchio stayed on top for the most part, holding Smith down as he attempted to create a submission maneuver whilst throwing random punches. The scene remained the same as it went to the next round.

Round Three: Both fighters quickly turned it into another ground game. Fontecchio stayed on top again as he tried to bend Smith’s arm out to attempt another submission. The referee called a stop to the match 2:31 into the third round after Fontecchio landed multiple hits on Smith.

WINNER VIA TKO: Nick Fontecchio

Shaun Marmas (Integrated Martial Arts) Vs. Chris Rowley (Sityodtong)

Rowley started the match off with a simple takedown, landing a couple punches on Marmas’s side. Rowley stood up, but was quickly grabbed back down by Marmas before both fighters rose to their feet. Marmas slammed Rowley back down, but was soon caught in a headlock before transforming Rowley’s attack into another takedown. Marmas was then caught in Rowley’s grasp, but was able to reverse it into his advantage. Marmas then locked Rowley in a triangle choke, forcing him to tap out 4:44 in the first round. Both fighters gave each other props for a well-done match right afterwards, with much respect given to one another.


Keegan Hornstra (The Shop) Vs. Bobby Flynn (Pro-Elite)

Both fighters hugged before the start of the match, before Flynn pushed Hornstra to the cage. The match moved to the ground, as Flynn put himself on top and managed to get on Hornstra’s back. Flynn attempted to get some strikes in, before going into a rear-naked choke to make Hornstra tap out 2:20 in the first round.


Jesse Merit (Team Anubis) Vs. Shawn Baker (CCFA)

Round One: Baker started off the match with a couple kicks, as both men moved in a circle around the cage as they were feeling each other out. Baker continuously kicked at Merit’s side. Merit looked as if he was being too cautious, as his punches weren’t connecting. The match stayed on foot throughout the entire round.

Round Two: Merit finally started connecting hits, but Baker seemed too speedy to cause much damage. Merit attempted a couple charges towards Baker, but was soon caught in a headlock next to the cage. Baker tried for a sleeper in his position, as Merit slowly went to the ground. Merit soon escaped, but then found himself on the ground as Baker tried pinning him down to find a good opening for a submission. No such luck, as the match went into the third round.

Round Three: Baker pinned Merit to the cage, as Merit threw a couple knees into Baker’s abdomen. Baker returned the knees with his own, which seemed to knock the wind out of Merit. Baker locked Merit in another headlock, moving the match to the ground before Merit escaped his grasp. The match retuned to the ground, as Baker and Merit slowly stood toe-to-toe locked next to the cage. Both fighters went back the ground, as Baker attempted to get some final strikes in before the round’s end. The match would be decided by the judges.


Jimmy Collins (Lauzon MMA) Vs. Lionel Young (MAXX Training)

Round One: Collins charged towards Young during the start of the match, with both fighters dropping to the ground as they traded side punches. Collins was able to hold Young down as he clenched on his back in an attempt to get a hold in. Young soon rolled over, but found himself with Merit on his back again throwing punches from behind. Young struggled to find his composure, as Collins continuously threw punches at him. Suddenly Young turned the tables on Collins, as the round ended with him dominating Collins on top.

Round Two: Young landed a knee into Collins stomach, but Collins was able to take him down to the ground. Young quickly reversed it, with him on top and Collins trying to roll him back over. Once again Collins was on top, with Young on his belly as he tried blocking his hits. Young tried to get out of it, but found himself yet again on his back, before rolling Collins over and attempting to get as many hits in as Collins tried for a headlock. The last few seconds of the round had Collins throwing a couple more punches.

Round Three: The match quickly went to the ground, as Young attempted to connect a few punches as Collins held him down. Collins then put Young in a sleeper hold, forcing him to tap out 1:18 of the third round.


Johnny Campbell (SSSF) Vs. Tateki Matsuda (Sityodtong) – Pro Welterweight Title Bout

Round One: Campbell connected with a swift kick to Matsuda’s thigh, but missing on two crucial high kicks. Campbell attempted a takedown, but failed to get Matsuda off his feet. Matsuda connected a side kick, as Campbell taunted him whilst throwing more kicks that didn’t see any connects. Matsuda was brought to one knee, but quickly gained back concentration as Campbell tried for another high kick. The two charged at one another during the last few seconds of the round, with Matsuda falling to the mat as it reached the end.

Round Two: Campbell and Matsuda both attempted high kicks, each one failing to find any connection. Matsuda landed a punch on Campbell’s cheek, whom answered back with a swift kick that sent Matsuda rolling backwards onto his feet. Campbell tried for another takedown, finding the result the same as before. He soon managed to get a quick punch on Matsuda’s face, before both fighters crossed legs during simultaneous kicks. Both fighters dealt kicks and punches back and forth, each one too quick to cause any damage to one another. The round ended with a quick grappling, with neither fighter able to take the other down.

Round Three: Campbell and Matsuda continued to trade kicks and punches., with neither fighter wanting to back down. Matsuda was able to get a few quick punches near the cage, but soon backed from Campbell as he attempted to return with his own. Campbell soon was able to get Matsuda on the ground, but quickly both fighters sprung back to their feet. Both fighters appeared to be losing steam at this point, though they were still able to trade a couple kicks and punches. Matsuda then held Campbell on the cage, but was unable to accomplish anything as the round reached its end.

Round Four: Both fighters circled the cage as they attempted to feel each other out . Matsuda managed to get two kicks in, as Campbell went for another takedown. Campbell found this takedown to work, but soon found himself on the bottom as Matsuda tried to sneak in a couple punches. Both fighters got back on their feet, but Matsuda quickly charged at Campbell, knocking in to the ground. Matsuda clung to Campbell’s back, searching for a submission attempt. Before the round’s end Matsuda was able to connect a couple punches on Campbell.

Round Five: Campbell quickly went for a takedown, but Matsuda returned with one of his own. With Matsuda on top Campbell struggled to find a way to grasp his opponent while on the ground. Matsuda quickly landed a few punches, but Campbell soon jumped to his feet, only to be taken down again by his opponent. While clinging to Campbell’s back Matsuda connected a few more punches, as his opponent struggled to get to his feet. Both fighters seemed to use up all their energy as the round met its end, leaving the decision in the hands of the judges.

WINNER VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION: Tateki Matsuda (44-50, 44-49, 46-49)

Proofread by Blueonic & Anvil

Episode CXXXVIII: Quoth The Raven, "Piss Off!!!"

Recorded once upon a midnight dreary, while Bastards pondered weak and weary…

This week the B3 crew takes a look at the demos for Dragon’s Dogma, Ninja Gaiden 3, Bloodforge, Deep Black – Episode 1, and The Walking Dead – Episode 1. John Cusack’s performance in The Raven is critiqued, the week in sports is examined, and the Bastards listen with delight to Jack White’s new album.

What they utter is their only stock and store. It’s Episode 138: Quoth The Raven, “Piss Off!!!”

Episode CXXXVII: The B3 Stooges

Nyuk nyuk nyuk! BOOP!

This week the B3 crew gets into Record Store Day discussion, which somehow leads to a 4/20 rant and back around again. The week in sports is put on the table, and Blueonic happily goes Tourette’s with Trials Evolution and the Ghost Recon: Future Soldier beta. Finally the movies The Three Stooges, Lockout, and The Lucky One are reviewed.

Clam it, chowderheads! It’s Episode 137: The B3 Stooges!

Episode CXXXVI: You Don’t Drop The Soap. The Soap Drops You!

After spending last weekend at two conventions, the Bastards reconvene for an all-new episode.

This week King Baby Duck and Blueonic share their thoughts on PAX East 2012, and Anvil manages to find reasons why he had some sort of fun at Anime Boston. The week in sports is discussed, as are the demo version of Sniper Elite V2 and Fez.

It’s short, sweet, and will get you extra clean! It’s Episode 136: You Don’t Drop The Soap. The Soap Drops You!